季羡林最好的一本书【在曾祖季羡林身边的日子里】

　　编者语: 　　作为中国当代学界泰斗,季羡林先生在海内外都享有着极高的声誉。季老的为人为学问为社会为国家为世界奋斗与贡献之精神,让世人敬慕不已。2002年初,本刊编辑部曾至北京专访季羡林先生,并作为封面人物特别刊发,产生了巨大反响。今年7月11日,季老这颗闪亮的巨星陨落了,这让我们同时也让世人悲痛不已。悼念的方式是多样的。我们谨于此刊发其曾孙季孟祥所撰之文,以追忆季老,寄托哀思。
　　
　　
　　7月11日上午10点多,我接到钱文忠先生发给我的一条短信:季老今晨去世了。这短信像一枚威力巨大的炸弹,立时将我震晕了,惊呆了。我傻傻地盯着这条短信,心里的悲痛无以言表,眼泪已不能缓解心中的悲哀。那个疼我、爱我、关心我,那个春节给我压岁钱的老爷爷真的走了吗?我实在不愿相信这是真的。
　　我呆呆地坐着,眼前浮现的是老爷爷慈祥的面容。我的心里塞满了悔恨和遗憾。我从季承爷爷那里知道您身体挺好,精神很愉快,我就放心了呀。我本想在您98岁大寿的时候带领全家去给您祝寿,可哪知道您竟这样匆匆地走了!
　　自1995年到2003年,每年的春节,我们全家人都陪伴在您的身边。我们一赶到北京,您总是说,孟祥来了,春节开始了。等我们要回临清时,您又说,孟祥回去了,春节结束了。我忘不了,除夕下午我和妻子包饺子的时候,您总是坐在我们对面,一边看我们包饺子,一边给我们讲过去的事情。年初一的早晨,您总是早早地把一个信封插在中山装的口袋里。我们给您拜年,祝您春节愉快新年吉祥,您总是微笑着说都愉快或都吉祥,一只手慢慢地从口袋里掏出那个装着钱的信封给我。我推辞不要,你就说:怪事,为什么给钱不要呀。这个得要,这是压岁钱。虽然我已年近中年,都应该给别人压岁钱了,可是在你的眼里,我还只是一个孩子,一个该得到压岁钱的孩子。今天您走了,我再也不能从您手中接过压岁钱了。我多想能够永远接到您给我的那个装着压岁钱的信封呀,哪怕那个信封里只有一元钱或一分钱都没有。
　　我记得,1973年7月底,您回故乡官庄,我是第一次见到您。您与乡亲们坐在同一条长凳上聊天唠家长。见到我,您把我揽过去,慈爱地用手抚摸我的头。我不会忘记,我要高考了,您给我寄来学习资料;您到济南参加会议,您让我陪在您身边,让我感受文化学术的气息。1983年初,您让我到北京去过春节,寄上路费并亲自到火车站接我。还有一次,我打电话告诉您我要到北京看望您,由于我坐的长途汽车一路上走走停停,到天黑才到北京。您在家中担心我路上的平安,坐立不安。天黑了,您竟独自走向北大西门去接我。在您的心里我们永远是您牵挂的孩子。
　　上世纪70年代的春节,我们家中总会收到您寄来的钱,还有饼干、糖果、布料等等。我结婚的时候,你又给我寄来糖果。收到您寄来的糖果那天恰好是我的新婚日。我就用您寄来的糖果当作喜糖招待了亲朋来宾。我添儿子时,您给小孩寄来一件粉红缎面的儿童斗篷,那件衣服我至今还收藏着。就在前几个月,我又添了孙子,当季承爷爷报告给您这个“六世同堂”的消息时,您非常高兴。上个月季承爷爷到临清来的时候,您又安排他带了大大的红包给我的孙子。这才是几天前的事情呀,您竟这样走了,留给我们的是无尽的哀痛和悲伤。
　　我现在的思绪很混乱。您的音容笑貌萦绕在我的脑海,桩桩件件的往事如在眼前。您知道我没有彩电,您想在北京给我买进口的。可是一想,那样维修起来不方便。您便给我钱,让我在临清买。余下一部分钱,您让我再买个高压锅,说是高压锅熬出的米粥好吃。
　　您鼓励我要多读书,多学文化。您教育我要清正廉洁,管不了别人,最起码要管好自己,绝不能与坏人同流合污。您说:“我的钱都是干净的,都是我一个字一个字写出来的。”您的好几篇散文,我都是第一读者。您经常把誊写好的散文拿给我看。有一次,我在看您的散文时,有“尴尬”的“尴”字我认为写的不对,您让我写一下。我写了,您说,你写的不对吧。您让我从您的书桌上拿来词典,一查,果然我写的不对。您说,要多,这本字典就送给你吧。
　　
　　我不会忘记,那一年春节,您的眼睛不好,便让我给您读报纸,读来信。一天,您拿出一摞未拆封的信,对我说:“最近眼睛不好,没法写信。你来给我读读信,写写回信吧。”您和我坐在餐桌旁。我每读一封信后,您便认真地思考一阵。然后您口述,我记录。给那十多位朋友的回信内容都是您一字一句说着,我记录下来的。
　　我不会忘记,有一次您回临清,您竟亲自到宣传部去找我,还给我的儿子买了一大堆玩具和食品。您就是这样时时刻刻关心疼爱着我们。回想起来,心里一阵阵疼痛。
　　我知道,家乡的学生在您心中占有多重的份量。您捐钱建学校,设立奖学金,邮寄图书给孩子们看。每次您回到家乡,不论多忙,您总要到学校去看一看孩子们。家乡的孩子们始终牵挂在您的心头。
　　老爷爷,您在文章中多次提到对母亲的“子欲养而亲不待”的悔。虽然她老人家长眠地下已经超过半个多世纪了,但您仍在思念她。那一年您回到家乡祭奠母亲。家中亲人认为您会鞠躬表达哀思,也就没有准备磕头用的垫子。谁也没有想到您会跪下来,跪在杂草丛生的土地上,深深地给母亲磕了3个头。您泪流满面,家中的亲人和乡亲们也早已被您感动得泪水直流。2001年,您回家乡过90大寿的时候,在祝寿的前一天,90高龄的您又是跪在母亲墓前磕头祭拜。您流泪,在场的人也流泪。
　　老爷爷,您走了,我们围绕在您身边的幸福和欢乐只能在回忆之中追寻了。
　　
　　The Days When I Stayed with Ji Xianlin
　　
　　At about 10 o’clock on July 11, I received a short message from Mr. Qian Wenzhong: “Mr. Ji passed away this morning.”
　　I still remember I met you for the first time at the end of July 1973 when you came back to your hometown Guanzhuang. Sitting on a stool with your fellow townsmen, you had a chat with them. Seeing me, you gently pulled me over and touched my head. I will never forget that before my university entrance examination, you sent me the reference materials. When you came to Jinan to attend a meeting, you invited me to accompany you so that I could experience the cultural and academic atmosphere. In early 1983, you invited me to go to Beijing to pass the Spring Festival. You sent me the travel expenses and picked me up at the railway station. One time, I called you to say that I would go to Beijing to see you. Since the bus I took frequently stopped on the way, I did not get to Beijing until darkness came. Worrying about my safety on the way, you felt uneasy at home. In the darkness, you went to the western gate of Peking University to pick me up. In your heart, we are the children that you worry about forever.
　　You encouraged me to read more books and learn more culture. You educated me to be clean and honest and not to identify myself with those who practice corruption.
　　I know that the students from your hometown occupy an important position in your heart. You donated money to establish schools and establish scholarships. You posted books to the children. Every time when you came back to your hometown, no matter how busy you were, you always went to the schools to see the children.
　　
　　Grandpa Ji, in your articles, you mentioned many times that you regretted that you had no opportunity to treat your mother well since she passed away too early. Although she has been asleep forever under the ground for more than 50 years, you still missed her very much. In that year when you came back to hometown to offer sacrifices to your mother, the family relatives thought that you would make a bow to express your grief, so they did not prepare a cushion for kneeling for you. However, no one had expected that you would kneel down on the grass and kowtow three times to the tomb of your mother. The family relatives and fellow townsmen were all so deeply moved by you that their faces were wet with tears.

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