圣诞笑话英文

圣诞笑话英文篇一：英语笑话。。圣诞节

一．A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗？”

二．Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 12月25日，是基督教徒纪念耶稣诞生的日子，称为圣诞

节。

从12月24日于翌年1月6日为圣诞节节期。节日期间，各国基督教徒都举行隆重的纪念仪式。圣诞节本来是基督教徒的节日，由于人们格外重视，它便成为一个全民性的节日，是西方国家一年中最盛大的节日，可以和新年相提并论，类似我国过春节。

西方人以红、绿、白三色为圣诞色，圣诞节来临时家家户户都要用圣诞色来装饰。红

色的有圣诞花和圣诞蜡烛。绿色的是圣诞树。它是圣诞节的主要装饰品，用砍伐来的杉、 柏一类呈塔形的常青树装饰而成。上面悬挂着五颜六色的彩灯、礼物和纸花，还点燃着圣 诞蜡烛。

红色与白色相映成趣的是圣诞老人，他是圣诞节活动中最受欢迎的人物。西方儿童在

圣诞夜临睡之前，要在壁炉前或枕头旁放上一只袜子，等候圣诞老人在他们入睡后把礼物 放在袜子内。在西方，扮演圣诞老人也是一种习俗。

Christmas, annual Christian holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. Most members of the Roman Catholic Church and followers of Protestantism celebrate Christmas on December 25, and many celebrate on the evening of December 24 as well. Members of the Eastern Orthodox Church usually delay their most important seasonal ceremonies until January 6, when they celebrate Epiphany, a commemoration of the baptism of Jesus. Epiphany also traditionally commemorates the arrival of the Three Wise Men of the East in Bethlehem (near Jerusalem, Israel), where they adored the infant Jesus and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. The official Christmas season, popularly known as either Christmastide or the Twelve Days of Christmas, extends from the anniversary of Christ’s birth on December 25 to the feast of Epiphany on January 6.

Christmas is based on the story of Jesus’ birth as described in the Gospel according to Matthew (see Matthew 1:18-2:12) and the Gospel according to Luke (see Luke 1:26-56). Roman Catholics first celebrated Christmas, then known as the Feast of the Nativity, as early as 336 ad. The word Christmas entered the English language sometime around 1050 as the Old English phrase Christes maesse, meaning “festival of Christ.” Scholars believe the frequently used shortened form of Christmas—Xmas—may have come into use in the 13th century. The X stands for the Greek letter chi, an abbreviation of Khristos (Christ), and also represents the cross on which Jesus was crucified.

圣诞笑话英文篇二：圣诞节英语笑话有哪些_推荐三则

圣诞节英语笑话有哪些?推荐三则

圣诞节英语笑话有哪些?推荐数三则

圣诞节英语笑话一.the thief and the judge

it was christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "what are you charged with?" he asked."doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"that's no offense," replied the judge, "how early were you doing this shopping?"

"before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

法官与小偷

那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”

在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

圣诞节英语笑话二.jesus&

#39;s telly

a child on christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. eventually the artistic masterpiece was

displayed for parental approval. the manager, the shepherds, jesus and holy family wore duly admired.

圣诞笑话英文篇三：幼儿英语口语,圣诞节的英文小笑话

幼儿英语口语，圣诞节的英文小笑话

The thief and the judge

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

法官与小偷

那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”

在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

Jesus's Telly

A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired."But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.

"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.

耶稣的电视机

圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。

他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。

“可是那个角落里是什么？”妈妈问。

“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么？

答案：锄地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。）On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起？

答案：当然是圣诞老人啦！为什么？因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

A dog runs through the snow during snowfall in Vienna, January 17, 2012.Ever wonder how dogs can walk barefoot in the snow? Now a Japanese scientist may have the answer -- an internal central heating system.

The secret lies in how dogs circulate their blood to prevent cold surfaces from chilling the rest of their bodies, according to Hiroyoshi Ninomiya, a professor at Yamazaki Gakuen University, just west of Tokyo.

The system uses warm, oxygenated blood to heat the cold blood that has been in contact with a cold surface before returning it to the dog's heart and central circulation.

"Dogs exchange heat at the end of their legs. Arterial blood flows to the end of their legs and then heats up venous blood before returning it to the heart," Ninomiya said of his findings, published in the journal Veterinary Dermatology.

"In other words, they have a heat exchange system in their feet."Ninomiya studied a preserved dog's leg under an electron microscope and found that because of the proximity of arteries and veins in the foot pad, the heat in the blood carried from the heart to the arteries is easily conducted to the cooler blood in the veins.

This heat transference maintains a constant temperature in the foot pad, even when exposed to extremely cold conditions.

Dogs are not alone in having this sort of heat exchange system, which is shared by other animals such as dolphins, Ninomiya said.

But not all dogs thrive in the cold, due to refining by breeders seeking specific traits, he added.

"Dogs evolved from wolves, and so they still have some of that ancestry remaining," he said.

"But that doesn't mean that one should always go and drag around in the snow all the time. There are many varieties of dogs nowadays that are not able to stand the cold."

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