幽默英语小短剧

幽默英语小短剧篇一：英语短剧(三人)搞笑

改编自《两小儿辩日》

(J:Jack P:Petter S:stranger)

独白：The story happened in a sunny day.Two friends meet each other. J:Hi,nice to see you,Petter.

P:Nice to see you,Jack.It`s a good day ,isn`t it?

J:Yeah,I like sunny days.

P:Look,what`s this?

J:Oh,it`s our luck day.It`s 100 dollar.

P:Yes, it is.So what should we do to the money?Give it to uncle police? J:I don`t think so.I suggest one of us can have it.Since it is in my hand,so…

P:No ,I don`t think so.I think I find it first,I am the person that who should have the money.

J:Look at that person.Why don`t we ask him to judge it for us. P:I agree.

J:Hello,could you please do us a favour?

S:Ofcourse.What`t up?

J:Here is the thing,……

S:Isee.It`s really a hard question.Let me think.en…OK,I get an idea.Now I`ll give you one question and the one who can give the correct answer that can have the money.What do you think?

P:Why not.

J:Let do it.

S:Now you must listen to me carefully.Look at the sun,it`s beautiful isn`t it?And it`s very far from us.So my question is when is the sun farther away from us,in the morning or at noon?You first.

P:It`s easy.As we can see,in the morning the sun is very big and at noon it become smaller.So,the answer is at noon

J:That is the most stupid answer I have ever heard.As we can feel ,in the morning it`s cool and at noon it`ll be very hot.That is because the sun is farther away from us at morning.

争吵

S：OK.Stop.Stop.As a matter of fact,each of your answer is incorrect.I think the range is the same.

P:Are you crazy?Let me tell you something?(到一边，拿出50美元)If you make me win,it`s yours.

S:(think for a while).It`s a deal.(回到原地) I am sorry,I made a mistake just now.I`ll correct my answer.Petter is right.The answer is at noon.

J:What?We need to talk.(拉路人到一边)I did not catch your mean clearly.Could you say it again?

S:The sun isfarther away from usat noon.So you are wrong.

J:(打过路人)Did you change your mind?

S:No…Oh yes.You are right.Obviously,he was wrong.

(一起回去)

P：What`s wrong with your face?

J:清嗓子

S:I just fall over by accident,nevermind.And let`s go back to the question ,I think it over and over again.Finally I believe Jack is right.You were wrong.

J:(Jack从petter手中抢过钱)Then it`s mine.(k(来自:www.zhaoQt.NeT 蒲公英文摘:幽默英语小短剧)iss it) It`s nice to meet you ,petter.Goodbye.

P:What?Don`t go.(jack下) What`s wrong with you?

S:I `m sorry,Ijust…..

J:Give me my money,now.

(路人拿出钱，jack一把抢过来，生气地走了)

S：（jack走后，路人掏掏口袋发现）Where is my own 100 dollar.Give me my money.(追jack)

完

幽默英语小短剧篇二：荆轲刺秦王(搞笑英语小话剧,英语及翻译)

《荆珂刺秦王》

旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.

很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲是最有名的剑客并被派去杀清王，嬴政。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么事？好吧，下面将会告诉你真相。

Action I

太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister?

镜子，镜子，告诉我，这个世界上最漂亮的人是谁？(画外音：是你，太子丹！)谢谢你的镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一个嫉妒的家伙，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相他会杀了我。我很害怕。我该怎么办呢？我大臣在哪里？

阿三: Honey, I am coming.

亲爱的，我来了。

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most

beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

我告诉过你一次又一次，你应该叫我“我最美丽的、优雅、英俊、迷人、可爱、聪明和最亲爱的太子丹”！

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~ 当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个英雄去杀嬴政~

太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent! Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

欧耶！二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但谁是合适的人选？ 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

经过筛选后我手上有两个有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将PK为世界头号杀手。

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

好的，给我尽快得主，好吗？

阿三：Yes.

Action II

荆轲：Are you Li mochou?

李莫愁：Yes.

荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.

好的。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是世界头号杀手之王。

李莫愁：Are you challenging me?

你想挑战我吗？

荆轲：Off course!

李莫愁：Come on!

李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

发生了什么？你为什么不疼？

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? 赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？

李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.

妈妈常说：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我明白了，妈妈是对的。

太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

哦，天哪！你能给我一个创新的回答“你好吗？”？

荆柯：Sure!

太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too! May I have your name card, please?

哦，我也是在开玩笑呢！我可以要一张你的名片吗？

阿三：Hero，we need your help.

荆柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.

荆柯：I am very busy now!

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?

IC、ID、IQ卡？

荆柯：I am very very busy now!

阿三: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.

看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你说好的，她就是你的。

荆柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!

我不得不说她是一个非常性感美丽的女孩，但中医是我唯一的爱！

阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荆柯：Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.

嘿，兄弟！你这么聪明，但为什么你不知道中医？任何人都可以给你答案。 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM.

传统的中国美眉

太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.

我必须告诉你的王牌。女士们，先生们，这是立顿减肥茶。这是一个全新的联合利华中国产品。

荆柯：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.

减肥茶！我梦想它数千次。我的妻子总是威胁说要离开我，如果我不能减轻我的体重。

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?

你想得倒好？假如你想要！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你很有诚意，我很高兴，你还是要说出来。你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要？ 荆柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.

告诉我，我应该做什么？我会为你做任何事。

Action III

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.

英雄，我们已经达到了沂水河。

荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends

就停在这里。再见，我的朋友

太子丹：I will miss you, baby.

荆珂：Darling, I love you.

妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world! 我爱你。对我而言，你比这个世界上的任何东西都更有意义。

荆珂：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.

我更爱你。哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你。

妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.

怎么样。作为一个男人，就去做！我会一直在这里等你。

荆珂：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise

亲爱的！你一定要帮我这个忙?答应我你会活下去?你绝不会放弃?不管发生什么事?无论多么的绝望?现在就答应我，永远不要忘记你的承诺

妻子："I promise."

荆轲："Never let go. “

永不放弃

妻子："I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."

妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 这是一个去死的好日子。再也回不来了。不......从未......

妻子：Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.

谢谢你.当我得到人寿保险1000000美元，我将把它的一半，500000美元到您的帐户。

阿三：Okay okay!

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng. 然后荆轲送往秦，最终被嬴政杀了。

幽默英语小短剧篇三：英语三人短剧 搞笑

顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了

服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！

A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!

B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!

一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”

“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer ),with your hand on my steak? (What answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the floor again? 服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。

第一个顾客：我要茶

第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！

服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？

B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?

A:I'll have tea.

C:(2nd customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is clean!

(Waiter exits returns)

B:(Waiter:) Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。

服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？

看起来象是在仰泳，

A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?

Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.

服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。

A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!

B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three. 服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！

是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。

A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!

C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.

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