动物英语幽默小故事

动物英语幽默小故事篇一：英语幽默小故事

英语幽默小故事

Where is the egg?

Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?

Student:In the cake,Sir.

鸡蛋在哪里？

老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？

学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？

学生：在蛋糕里，先生

Son: Dad, give me a dime.

Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?

儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。

父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗？

儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗？

I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

Ten Candies

Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”

“Ten.” Jim says.

“Then,” Mother asks.

“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?”

十块糖

妈妈问儿子：“吉姆，如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？” “10块。”吉姆说。

“10块？”妈妈问。

“是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？”

It’s Good to Admit a Fault

John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. “John!” Teacher says angrily.

“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.

“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.

“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.

“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.

“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.

认错

约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。 “约翰！”老师生气地喊他。

“什么？出什么事了？”约翰醒了。

“你为什么要做鬼脸？这是教室！看看！同学们都在笑！”老师生气地说。 “没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。

“不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。

“嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。

Adding Feet to a Snake

One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it.

Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, I’ve finished. I’m No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”

画蛇添足

一天，狮子先生举行一场聚会，许多动物都来了，他们喝很多酒。最后只剩一

壶酒了。让谁喝呢？它们想了想，有个主意。它们比赛画蛇，谁最快画

好，谁就喝这壶酒。

不一会，狼先生画好了。“哈，我画好了，我是第一个。”它说。可是它又画了起来，它还说：“再给它加几只脚吧。”这是猩猩先生也画好了。它拿起那酒壶喝起来。一边喝一边说：“那不是蛇，蛇是没有脚的，我赢了这壶酒。”

Covering One’s Ears While Stealing a Bell

Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things.

One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.”

Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.

掩耳盗铃

王先生总以为自己很聪明，实际上他总干傻事。

一天，他看见一户人家的门头有个很漂亮的铃铛。“啊，真漂亮啊！我要把它拿回家去。”他自言自语道：“我该怎么做呢？”过了一会儿他想到了一个“好”主意。“啊哈！我有办法了！我把耳朵堵上，拿铃铛的时候就听不见铃声了。”

于是他就这样做了。可是他刚拿下铃铛，屋子的主人就打开门，怒气冲冲地说：“你在干什么？”

Look at the Sky from the Bottom of a Well

There is a frog. He lives in a well and he never goes out of the well. He thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.

One day a crow comes to the well. He sees the frog and says, “Frog, let’s have a talk.” Then the frog asks, “Where are you from?” “I fly from the sky,” the crow says. The frog feels surprised and says, “The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well. How do you fly from the sky?”

The crow says, “The sky is very big. You always stay in the well, so you don’t know the world is big.”

The frog says, “I don’t believe.” But the crow says, “You can come out and have a look by yourself.”

So the frog comes out from the well. He is very surprised. How big the world is!

坐井观天

有一只青蛙住在井底，他从来没有去过井外面。他以为天空就和井口一样大。 一天， 一只乌鸦飞到井边，看见青蛙，就对它说：“青蛙，咱们聊聊吧。”青蛙就问

他：“你从哪里来？”“我从天上上来。青蛙惊讶了，就说：“天空就只有这井口这么大，你怎么会从天上飞老呢？”

乌鸦说：“天空很大。只不过你一直呆在井里，所有不知道世界很大。”青蛙说：“我不相信。”乌鸦说：“你可以出来，自己看看嘛。”

于是青蛙来到井外。他十分惊讶，原来世界这么大！

The Clever King Solomon

Long, long ago, there was a king. Solomon was his name. He was very clever.

In his country, there were two women. They lived in the same house and each had a child.

One night, one of the babies died. The dead baby’s mother took the other woman’s baby, and put it in her own bed.

The next morning , they had a quarrel.

“No, this is my baby!” The dead is yours!”

Each one wanted the living baby. So they went to see King Solomon.

“Bring me a knife, cut the child into two and five each woman one half.” said the King. “Oh. Your Majesty! Give her my baby. Please don’t kill my baby!”

Then King Solomon pointed to the woman in teas and said, “Give the baby to her. She is the mother.”

聪明的国王所罗门

很久很久之前，有一位国王，他的名字叫所罗门，他非常聪明。

在他的国家里，有两位妇女，她们住在同一间房子里。各有一个婴儿。

一天夜里，其中一个婴儿死了。他的妈妈抱另一位妇女的小孩，把他放在自己的床上。

第二天早上，他们发生了争吵。

“不，这是我的孩子！这个死的是你的！”

他们都想要这个活着的孩子，于是她们去见所罗门国王。

“给我拿把刀来，把这个孩子切成两半，没人一半。”国王判决道。

“哦，陛下，把我的孩子给她吧。请不要杀了我的孩子！”一位母亲哭喊道。 于是所罗门指着流泪的妇女说：“把孩子给她，她是真正的母亲。”

Two Holes for the Dogs

My uncle has two dogs. One is big and the other is small. He likes them very much.

One day, Mr. Smith came to visit him. When the friend saw two holes in the door, a large hole and a small hole, he was surprised and said, “My dear friend, why are there two holes in your door?” “Let my dogs come in and come out, of course,” Mr. Smith asked. “But why are there two holes? One is enough!” “But how can the big dog go through the small hole?” my uncle said.

Sometimes a clever man may make such mistakes.

两个狗洞

我的叔叔有两条狗。一只是大的，另一只是小狗的。他很喜欢它们。

有一天，史密斯先生来看他。当这个朋友看见门口上有连个洞，一个是大洞和一个小洞时，他感到吃惊并说，“我亲爱的朋友，为什么你的门上有连个洞？”我的叔叔回答说：“当然是让我的两条狗进出了。 ” 史密斯先生问到：“ 为什么门上要两个洞呢？一个就足够了。” 我叔叔说：“大狗怎能走小洞呢？”

有时聪明的人可能会犯这样的错误。

动物英语幽默小故事篇二：英语动物小故事

今天的英语故事

（动物们正在森林里快乐地玩耍，一只可怕的鬼（Ghost）出现了，它饿了，想吃它们。）

Ghost: I’m a ghost. I’m hungry.Haha,so many foods!

我是一只鬼，我饿了。哈哈，有好多吃的！

（鬼来到大象前面。）

Ghost: Look at the elephant.It’s walking.看那大象，它在走。

Ghost: Elephant, elephant,I want to eat you!大象，大象，我要吃了你！ Elephant: Oh, no!Walking,walking,I’m walking.Bye-bye!

噢，不！我走，我走，我在走！再见！

（鬼没吃着大象，它又来到了小鸟前面。）

Ghost: Look at the bird.It’s flying. 看那小鸟，它在飞。

Ghost: Bird, bird,I want to eat you! 小鸟，小鸟，我要吃了你！

Bird: Oh, no!Flying,flying,I’m flying. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我飞，我飞，我在飞！再见！

（鬼没吃着小鸟，它又来到了兔子前面。）

Ghost: Look at the rabbit.It’s jumping. 看那兔子，它在跳。

Ghost: Rabbit, rabbit,I want to eat you! 兔子，兔子，我要吃了你！

Rab

bit: Oh, no!Jumping,jumping,I’m jumping. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我跳，我跳，我在跳！再见！

（鬼没吃着兔子，它又来到了鱼的前面。）

Ghost: Look at the fish.It’s swimming. 看那鱼，它在游。

Ghost: Fish, fish,I want to eat you! 鱼，鱼，我要吃了你！

Fish: Oh, no!Swimming,swimming,I’m swimming. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我游，我游，我在游！再见！

（鬼没吃着鱼，它又来到了老虎的前面。）

Ghost: Look at the tiger.It’s running. 看那老虎，它在跑。

Ghost: Tiger, tiger,I want to eat you! 老虎，老虎，我要吃了你！

Tiger: Oh, no!Running,running,I’m running. Bye-bye!

噢，不！我跑，我跑，我在跑！再见！

Ghost: Oh no!I’m very hungry!

（所有动物全跑了，最后鬼只好饿着肚子回家去了。）

动物英语幽默小故事篇三：英语幽默小故事

英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I?m going abroad

tomorrow, but I?d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

Joan went there and said to the matron, "I?ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh, that?s all right," answered Joan. "I?m his sister."

"I?m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I?m his mother!"

在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”

“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。

“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”

“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”

Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one?s name was George, and the second one?s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

Then George said, "Now I haven?t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What?s your girl-friend?s address?"

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

“你还要什么?”比尔问。

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John?s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy?s family name, so when he saw John?s papers, he was surprised.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."大五个月

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八，长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

West Point

My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”

一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”

(6)Present for Girlfriend

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ?To my one and only love?. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

送给女友的礼物

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻?给我唯一的爱?。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”

Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband?s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I?d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

慎重许愿

一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。

庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。

接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。

Wood Fire

One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."

"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"

森林之火 一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” “那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I?d pulled you out, they?d chuck me in."

最好的奖赏 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。 “最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

Napoleon Was Ill

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the

university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

"He?s a good boy," said Jack?s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I?m sure he?ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

"No, no, that?s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn?t know!"

"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack?s father. "You see, I?m afraid we don?t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

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