幽默英文对话
发布时间:2017-02-12 来源: 幽默笑话 点击： 
幽默英文对话篇一：搞笑英语对话
我家dad，脾气bad，让我sad。
有只cat，非常fat，专吃rat。
放下plate，赶到gate，已经late。
清晨wake，来到lake，钓上snake。
撇下net，鱼没get，衣服wet。
为捉pest，从不rest，本领best。
一只pig，非常big，把洞dig。
没给tip，把我lip，装上zip。
一只kite，颜色white，被狗bite。
学会ride，妈妈pride。
清晨jog，带上dog，踩到frog。
轻轻hop，跳上top，唱起pop。
把眼close，用我nose，去闻rose。
喝着coke，听着joke，把腰broke。
举着gun，瞄准sun，不停run。
小小bug，把我hug。
找个excuse，借车use，遭到refuse。
假装mute，真是cute。
开着car，向着star，路途far。
想变smart，必须start，学习art。
一个driver，掉进river，生命over。
一个robber，专抢rubber。
穿上shirt，脱下skirt，扔进dirt。
这只bird，总跑third。
个子short，喜欢sport，跑到airport。
拿着fork，吃着pork。
一个nurse，丢了purse。
买只turtle，颜色purple。
一只goat，穿件coat，上了boat, 一片oat，卡在throat。
燃烧oil，直到boil，倒进soil。
是否join，抛起coin。
带上hook，来到brook，水面look。
手拿book，一边look，开始cook。
炎热noon，跳上spoon，飞到moon。
一个fool，掉进pool，真是cool。
西瓜round，长在ground，被我found。
一只mouse，穿件blouse，走进house。
天在snow，风在blow，树在grow, 秋风follow，树叶yellow，落到pillow, 不知cow，近况how，去问now。
一座town，不停down，快要drown。
一只bee，躲进tree，没人see。
悬崖deep，开着jeep，莫要sleep。
抱着Barbie，吃着cookie，看着movie。
被我niece，摔成piece。
丢了glue，没有clue，脸气blue。
手拿tissue，排好queue。
一颗pea，掉进sea，泡壶tea。
身体weak，爬上peak，无力speak。
吞进lead，摸摸head，已经dead。
吃着bread，报纸spread，开始read。
不停train，没有pain，哪有gain。
把手raise，老师praise。
小狗paw，那根straw，把画draw。坐在lawn，学习law。
被窝cozy，床上lazy，真是crazy。
抱着puppy，心里happy。
如果shy，不敢try，机会fly。不停cry，眼泪dry。
很多day，没发pay，无话say。
天空gray，无心play，回家stay。
顽皮monkey，捡起key，扔向donkey, 为了honey，节省money。
有个boy，玩着toy，心中joy, 跳进soy，尽情enjoy。
一只hare，居然dare，对我stare, 困难share，互相care，赶走scare。
天气fair，凉爽air，吹拂hair。崭新chair，滚下stair，需要repair。
昨天fire，今天hire，后天retire。扑灭fire，真是tire。
离我near，含着tear，叫我dear。一头bear，裙子wear，采摘pear。
一只deer，举起beer，大喊cheers。这个engineer，事事pioneer。
洗完face，系好lace，参加race。吃着rice，加点ice，口喊nice。
听听music，变变magic，迟迟garlic。看完comic，野外picnic。
动作quic
身体ill，买来pill，堆成hill。一根needle，掉进noodle。
饭后hurry，书包carry，迟到sorry。我家parrot，爱吃carrot。
做个dream，掉进stream，大声scream。穿着dress，下着chess。
一辆truck，满载duck，一路luck。碰到trouble，努力double。
小小age，读读page，种种orange。打开fridge，端出porridge，扔下bridge。 喝酒enough，大声laugh，不停cough。他很tough从不laugh。
心中wish，钓到fish，做成dish。飞机crash，烧成ash，损失cash。
一个youth，张开mouth，吹到south。洗完bath，学习math。
我的mother，生个brother，想要another。寒冷weather，身披leather，头戴feather。 高高sky，不知why，掉下spy。站在peak，对天speak。
到了night，打开light，保护sight。方法right，坚持fight，前途bright。 一只chick，动作quick，把我kick。吃饭quiet，注意diet。
猫吃mice，味道nice，想吃twice。这对twin，总是win。
幽默英文对话篇二：搞笑英语两人短对话
男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?
女:Sure.
男:What is your father’s name?
女:Happy!
男:Then, What is your mother’s name?
女:Smile!
男:Are you joking?
女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff? 男:Of course not.
女:Go ahead.
男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start a
band. Will you join us?
女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band
男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you
can play piano very well.
女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.
男:What are you good at?
女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.
男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?
女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.
男:Really? What does he like?
女:He prefers quiet music.
男:Good. How about Harry? He plays the guitar, doesn’t he? 女:Yes, but Harry loves loud music such as disco . 男:That's OK. I often go to disco with my friends.
女:You mean we can play both loud music and quiet music? 男:Why not?
女:What kind of music style do you prefer, Ben?
男:Oh, I like music that I can dance to.
But we have one problem with our band
女:what is it?
男:I'm not a musician and I can't sing.
女:Are you joking?
男:No, that’s your sister’s name. Just now I was kidding. 女:Well, that makes sense?!
幽默英文对话篇三：搞笑英语对话
1.简要介绍你自己。 简历上都有，写得很详细。 2.你为什么对这份工作感兴趣？ 说实话，我并不感兴趣，但人不能没有工作，找到一份先干着。
3.谈谈你的优势？
你是说跟其他的应聘者相比吗？我不认识他们。
4.谈谈你最大的弱点是什么？
太老实，领导怎么说我怎么干。
5.为什么你认为自己适合这个职位？
你们招聘广告上只有这么一个职位。
6.你的简历上有些什么值得特别关注的吗？
封面比较漂亮，花了两块多钱做的。
7.你为什么选择这个专业？
瞎选的，当时不知道自己喜欢干什么。
8.你有哪些兴趣爱好呢？
业余时间喜欢当暴露狂。
9.你对于短期和长期的目标是什么？
短期目标是先生存下来，长期的目标还不知道，人生就像巧克力嘛。
10.如果我向你的朋友或者家人询问对你的评价，你认为他们会怎样说？
我觉得你聪明的话应该去问我的仇人，这样得到的答案更有参考价值。
12.你争取成功的动力是什么？ 成功才会有钱，有钱就有了女人 15.你能向我列举一个团队活动和领导力的例子吗？ 我在大学就喜欢赌博，每次打牌都是我组织的。
16.你经历过最大的挑战是什么？你如何跨越它的？
在大学赌博被抓，学校要开除我，后来我给教导主任买了6条“中华”，软包装的。
17.我为什么要从这么多应聘者中选择你呢？
你的问题为什么要我来回答。
18.你有一些什么问题吗？
加班的话有没有便当？
19.你去年的收入是多少？你对于报酬有什么样的期望？
我去年玩了一年，没收入。我对报酬的期望是：尽你们所能给的越多越好。
20.在过去的日子里，你觉得自己最大的成就是什么？
在这个世界上活了二十多年还没死。
21.曾经有人要求你去做一些不道德的事情吗？如果有，你是怎么处理的呢？ 不是每次都去，我有我自己的原则。
22.如果你完全不同意你上司的某个要求，你怎么处理？
同意。
26.你怎样在一堆根本做不完的工作任务中区分轻重缓急？
反正做不完，区分出来又有什么用？
27.为什么下水道的井盖是圆的？
如果是方的你又要问为什么是方的。不管怎样它总得有个形状吧。
30.有哪些因素可能会让你失去动力或信心？
奖金比别人的少。
31.对于你来说，与团队一起工作和独自干活哪样效率更高？ 那要看干什么活了。如果是拔河当然团队比较好，如果是泡mm还是独自效率比较高。 32.积极的态度对你有多重要？ 我不看重态度，我重视的是结果。
33.你怎样定义成功？
认识你的人都羡慕你，这就是成功。
34.你大学阶段最大的遗憾是什么？
钱不是很够花。
35.你曾经做过的最难的决定是什么？
别人约我去做不道德的事，我考虑到底去不去。
36.你理想的工作是什么？
我说了你能帮我实现吗？
38.你离开原来的公司主要原因是什么？
女上司对我进行性骚扰。
39、你到一个新的公司，如果你的下属各方面都比你强，你应该怎么处理与他的关系？ 设法把他调到别的部门。
40、你希望你的上级应当是个怎么样的人？
大方的人。 来源：PrintHR
1 briefly introduce yourself.
The resume has, to write a very detailed.
2 why are you interested in this job?
To tell you the truth, I was not interested, but people can not find a job, to do.
3 talk about your strengths?
You mean like other candidates compared? I don't know them.
4 what is your biggest weakness?
Too honest, leading to say I do.
5 why do you feel you are right for this position?
Your advertisement only one position.
6 your resume what deserves special attention?
The cover is more beautiful, spent two yuan of money to do.
7 Why do you choose this major?
Blind choice, do not know what love was.
8 what are your hobbies?
Spare time likes when exposed.
9 you for the short and long term goals?
Short term goal is to survive, the long-term goal is not to know, life was like a box of chocolates. 10 if I were to ask your friends or family members to ask of you, how do you think they will say? I think you smart you should ask my enemy, so the answer more reference value.
12 what motivates you to succeed?
Success will have the money, money is a woman
15 can you give me an example of teamwork and leadership examples?
I in university like gambling, each time playing cards are my organization.
16 you have experienced what is the biggest challenge? And how did you overcome it?
In the University of gambling is caught, the school wants to fire me, then I give the director bought 6" Chinese", soft packaging.
17 Why should I from so many candidates to choose you?
You want me to answer the question why.
18 do you have any questions?
If there is no easy work overtime?
19 of your income last year is a number? What are your compensation expectations?
Last year I played one year, no income. I on the expectation of reward is: what you can do to the more the better.
20 in the past days, you feel what is the greatest achievement?
In this world live more than 20 years is not dead.
21 have you ever been asked to do something unethical? If yes, how did you handle it? Not every time to go, I have my own principles.
22 If you totally disagree with a request made by your manager, how do you deal with? Agree.
26 how do you in a pile of fundamental do not finish the task to distinguish the order of priority? Anyway, do not finish, to distinguish what is the use?
27 why is a manhole cover round?
If you want to ask why is a square is a square. No matter what it had to have a shape.
30 factors which may cause you to lose power or confidence?
Bonus less than others.
31 for you, working with a team and working alone as higher efficiency?
It depends on what live. If it is of course good tug of war team, if mm foam or alone high efficiency.
32 to you is a positive attitude?
I don't care what attitude, I value the results.
33 what is your definition of success?
You know people admire you, this is the successful.
34 your university what is your greatest regret?
Money is not enough.
35 you have done what was the most difficult decision?
Others about me to be immoral, I consider whether to go.
36 what is your ideal job?
I said can you help me?
38 you leave the original company is mainly due to what?
The female boss sexually harasses me.
39, you go to a new company, if your subordinates are all better than you, you should be how to deal with the relationship with him?
Managed to have him transferred to another department.
40, you want your supervisor should be a man?
The generous man.
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